oneoclockwonder | 
08 28th, 2008| 
yikes!
baby with two heads, one set of everything else
Aug
27
me says: alamak. viewing houses is more disappointing than boyfriends.
so much potential but they all end up to be dumps.
pj-boy says: wow…. never tot that would make sense
Aug
27
there’s a saying about big city dwellers, that they are constantly ’looking for a new job, a new relationship, and a new apartment’
there is NOTHING to complain about my current place. it is thanks to the angel of BL that i have a lovely lovely place to stay.
my mom calls it ‘你中了’色/诫’毒.’
i call it market research, and yes. i had been poisoned and brainwashed by the je ne sais quoi of art deco movement.
what’s there NOT to love about it?
_____________________________________________________________
conversation recreated from many conversations:
me: wah my ideal house would be one of those with high walls on the outside and my entrance is just a red door. LIKE THIS ONE!!! *points at dusty old red door with a lone letter box outside.
mom&dad: how come you don’t want to stay in new house? got new piping, got big bright lifts, got big marble lobby, got security who will hail ur cab for u, toilet can flush toilet paper.
me: uh.. yeah..then the red door will open up to a little tiled garden outside with a picnic bench with a terraced tower of potted plants. then HUGE floor-to-ceiling glass door. oh the apartment has to be two steps higher than the garden also. then open plan L shape kitchen with a big bench.
dark wood sofa with thick cushion. oh. L shape also, so can put up leg comfortably to watch tv, can face directly.
the apartment must have alot of sunlight cos i don’t like to switch on light during the day.
mom&dad: …………….
me: oh maybe can have cathedral ceiling? actually layout very simple lah. bit rectangular can already. good to have walk in wardrobe. can put queen size bed. toilet, as long as it doesn’t smell, piping are brand new, NO MOULD.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so easy also cannot find!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all i want is a small apartment which has all those qualities….why WHY WHYYYYY.
bonus will be if the neighbours do not hang their underwear in my vista.
mom&dad: ok lah. slowly look lor. don’t panic, sure can find one.
i am beginning to realise that their ’slowly look lor….sure can find one’ statement is meant to be sarcastic
_____________________________________________________________
if only i got alot of capital. i will turn a run down building into something beautiful. i swear.
other people may see microscopic location, location, location
i envision location, internal hardware, community
it frustrates me that ordinary shanghai pple has so much money to throw arnd for branded bags + what nots, but THEY ARE NOT HOUSE/COMMUNITY PROUD!!!!!!!
the town planner inside stamps her foot when she view poorly maintained/decorated apartment/surrounds which was beautiful 20 years ago.
but she dares not in case she falls through the wooden floor.
Aug
27
why does my singapore home looks so much cleaner, brighter, better despite being 11 ys old?!
sigh.
and why do i subject myself to view dodgy ‘old shanghai’ apartments when they are just…old, dusty, damp, disgusting surrounds, looks out to other-apartment-underpants-hanging space?
oh Lust/Caution and In Mood For Love, i blame you.
Aug
25
Aug
25
ARGH. just when i was so proud of myself hanging laundry last night, preparing the ahyi for ironing.
i woke up to multiple thunder. and that kicks the persistent snooze function of the phone. the sky’s grey with moving curtains of rain.
came online to check (and hoped) that it is a typhoon. nope. still have to go to work.
figuring outfit now. slippers mandatory.
Aug
22
been learning more on html and css and what nots…
me: eh. i realised that IT is just alot of jargons; its like telling a fantasy story with the author attaching random names to ficitional characters. as if the computer geeks are tryin to intimidate me with these smoke screens.
itnerd: seriously it’s true lor.
Aug
21
had decided to ‘freeze’ my money in another account. HSBC (hum-sup born chinese. that story’s for another day.) it was, given its snazzy image as ‘The World’s Local Bank’.
bankgirl: 小姐,久等了.您的账户号码是XXXX4X4
(sorry to keep you waiting, miss. your account number is XXXX4X4)
me: 我不要4X4. 不吉祥.
(i don’t want 4X4, not lucky)
bankgirl: 为什么? 4是’暗发’啊! 上海人都很喜欢
(but why not? 4 means ‘getting rich quietly’, shanghainese looovee it)
me: 为什么是暗发?
(how is 4 ‘getting rich quietly’)
bankgirl: 因为*starts singing* doe1 re2 mi3 FAAAAA4
(because…doe1 re2 mi3 FAAAAA4)
me: 我还是不要4X4.
(i still don’t want the 4X4 combo)
Aug
20
public service, checked.
sometimes u have to take a minute to stand up for what’s right
‘Hi,
I would like to draw your attention to the distractions and health hazards for the use of office backdoor.
1. Overtime alarm which sets off whenever the door is held for over 10 seconds (estimate) is a constant distraction; 2. the persistent door knocking by fellow colleagues is also a distraction, by which we have to leave our desks to open the door for them; 3. after which, we have to endure second-hand smoke which passes through
I take the above consequences seriously and it is unfortunate that the convenience of backdoor exit access to the wider office are at the heavy expenses of the health/work quality of few.
I would like to implore you to investigate into the above situations.
best regards,
me
—————-
5 hours later:
—————-
Dear all
Please kindly be noted that we should use our backdoor of Puxi office properly.
1. Do not open the door too long, because the alarm will be set off for long opening.
2. Do not knock the door for entering, this may disturb other employees’ work. Please use the front door.
3. Do not smoke in the walkway near our backdoor, because the smell will pass through into our office. Please smoke in the stair hall.
The exit access of this door is for our convenience to go out, but please do not make any inconvenience to others. Otherwise, we may consider to close the backdoor permanently.
Your great support and cooperation will be highly appreciated.
Best Regards!
Aug
20
v proud of my friend jess, who in her relentless pursuit of truth and reason, quoted moi in the article titled ‘The Modern-day Matchmaker’
____________________
The modern-day matchmaker
August 20, 2008 Wednesday, 02:35 PM, Jessica Cheam
Jessica Cheam says don’t be too quick to dismiss parents as matchmakers.
PARENTS as matchmakers?
You’ve got to be kidding, right? The Prime Minister’s suggestion that parents play cupid in his annual rally speech has generated much debate, especially within the 20s to 30s age group - people grappling with issues of marriage and babies.
Parents could help, said Mr Lee to encouraging applause at the rally, perhaps with a helping hand from the People’s Association (PA). Inspiration for this idea was a matchmaking trend in Beijing that caught his eye.
There, parents secretly seek partners for their children at ‘Parental Matchmaking Sessions’ in parks and apparently exchange photos, CVs, phone numbers which are then passed on to their kids, on the pretext of colleague recommendations.
Already, based on local online blogs and various anecdotal discussions, the initial reaction to this idea has produced a high dose of skepticism.
One contributor on local forum hardwarezone scorned: “We are not Beijing. Match-making moves our society backwards, not forwards.”
So it is with great surprise, that some others such as 25-year-old Vivian Wong, told The Straits Times that she’s fully in support of the idea.
“I’m busy enough with work, and if we can use headhunters to find jobs, why can’t we deploy our parents to source and filter potential partners for us?” said the real estate consultant.
It seems easy, as a knee-jerk reaction, to laugh off the suggestion. But in light of contrarian views such as Ms Wong, perhaps there’s something meaningful in the pursuit of this idea.
So let’s analyse the pros and cons of having parents to match-make us with our future partner.
Let’s start with the obvious cons: Some views gathered from a quick straw poll includes unwanted pressure from parents to go on arranged dates, the lack of spontaneity and suspense in “meeting someone”, and the likelyhood that someone would dislike their parents choice since it’s difficult for them to guess who would be a suitable companion.
Some singles such as Ms A Chua, 27, thinks that Chinese parents have “archaic, traditional notions” of what makes good partners, which will not match the younger generation’s changing ideals of relationships and marriages.
“I was dating this guy who had an unusual job of buying and selling horses for a living and even though he was a great guy, my parents judged him immediately on his job, and disapproved of him on that basis,” said Ms Chua. “For us younger Singaporeans, we tend to be more open-minded and frankly, as long as I feel a connection, I really don’t mind what he does.”
So what are the pros?
Well, according to Ms Wong, “parents know me in ways that even I’m unsure of myself. They can get rid of the “time-wasters” early on by screening them based on compatability issues like appearance, financial status, approach to life, religion etc”.
For a majority-Chinese society like Singapore, parental approval is usually important in choice of partners anyway, she pointed out. “So it’s good to find someone that my parents approve of to begin with.”
Ms Wong added that when she worked in Beijing during a six-month stint recently, most of her colleagues were married by their mid-twenties - and majority of them had parents who had a hand in the choice of their partner.
And they are happy, she claims. One native Beijing colleague said she observed women from Singapore were picky about their spouses.
She recounts that one of them remarked: “Marriage is like chicken pox. Marry early, and it’s less painful. And if you don’t like it, you still have many years left to get another one to remarry.”
Okay, so this might have been said more in jest than in seriousness. But as a point of comparison, most of Beijing’s youth don’t see it as an issue that their parents are involved in planning their marriages and/or partners, said Ms Wong.
This does not mean it might necessarily work for Singapore’s youth. Chances are, parents and their children have to work out some sort of compromise, and be sensitive to each other’s needs. Such as, if a person agrees to a date set up by their parents, all obligations and pressures from mum and dad stops there.
For singles looking for serious relationships, recommendations from parents who have screened potential partners will not be the worse thing - and maybe better than meeting random people at social settings, and after investing time and emotions in them, find out they are just “out to have fun”.
Given that these issues of falling marriage and birth rates are long-term challenges for Singapore, as Mr Lee pointed out, perhaps we should not be so quick to dismiss the idea of the modern matchmaker.
After all, parents know best, right?
Aug
20
Aug
19
hmm picked up a magazine randomly and i found the supposed ‘vision’ of my hairdresser.
too bad i dont look like this. wtf. if only. maybe he should body perm the bottom to make it look..rounder..
Aug
19
me: omg. i m watching LHL on youtube i m in love with him again
jc: eh babe you’re seriously obssessed with the l** family
me: babe too bad he’s gay otherwise he’s perfect
jc: hahaha i don’t htink he’s a practicing gay though
can you image the headlines “L** former aide: HE SODOMISED ME”
hahahha!
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
eh dont say that
but at least he’s the ONE in the gay relationship
jc: hahaha
so blasphemous
me: wah big word
let me check the meaning
blasphemous
grossly irreverent toward what is held to be sacred; “blasphemous rites of a witches’ Sabbath”; “profane utterances against the Church”; “it is …
characterized by profanity or cursing; “foul-mouthed and blasphemous”; “blue language”; “profane words”
Aug
19
don’t mind if i put it up so i don’t forget?
Address at Singapore Nanyang Technological University Convocation
2008 by Adrian Tan (author of Teenage Textbook)
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee
School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your
convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me
to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction,
defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as
a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one.
She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living.
She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly
by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day
telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being
disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That
is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one
who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when
you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already
be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be
married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be
married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The
end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong
process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking
masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You
know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think
there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the
business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you?
They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your
entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of
you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that
you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life
expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean
the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk
about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as
the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind
Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino . It seems quite clear
why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one
thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very
little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by
watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be
lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live
to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than
five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time
they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another
40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when
they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing
their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t
meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever
want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working,
falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as
graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your
hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be
an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living
your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have
nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.
And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore
to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not
entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything
does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no
control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour
by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your
life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as
tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will
ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best
that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all
downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many
wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it
is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death
from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill.
But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day
by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until
there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet
people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a
living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their
fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless
and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a
certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei”
was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps.
Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate
so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in
modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you
enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it
for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will
have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I
enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve
been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction -
probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine
you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will
have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go
further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be
able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should
know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your
knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an
obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you
don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To
those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not
asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is
dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great
capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you
are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even
conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or
equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the
truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity
to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That
requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the
mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and
that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be
hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet
every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been
hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred
is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused,
murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the
case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by
one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has
to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will
gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot
be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if
you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a
sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one
changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by
anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for
me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without
deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken
a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings.
It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise.
Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete
acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find
palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning,
attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we
call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better
ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material
things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important
to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t
happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It
grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It
is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is
less important than the brain, and the body is less important than
the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not
reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to
inspire
you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to
loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your
body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It
consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life
expectancy.
Aug
19
look at her, all proud with that smirk on her face.
was never one for small hairy white dogs. but who knew. she’s so smart and funny!!!!!
nonetheless, i still have a thing for black&white dogs.
so maybe the family will entertain me by turning jing jing into a panda dog for halloween….
Aug
18
so a colleague and i were talking olympics, and i the curious one asked
‘what’re the lyrics to ur national anthemn?’
‘not sure. wait. let me sing it out’
起来!
不愿做奴隶的人们!
把我们的血肉,
筑成我们新的长城!
’stand up, those who refuses to be slaves, let our (blood) bodies be the new Great Wall’
me: uhhh but so many pple are slaving their way in china now for RMB 10/hr
YF: oh yeah.. capitalism got the better of us…Great Wall is under renovations now and became some sort of tourist spot
me: uhh well there ARE slavery exploitation in massage parlours.
中华民族到了
最危险的时候,
每个人被迫着
发出最后的吼声!
‘when the Chinese people are suppressed at the most critical/dangerous time, they will roar one last time’
me: why must be ’suppressed’
YF: not sure man… ayah, chinese people are very 土 (read: obiang)
起来!
起来!
起来!
我们万众一心,
冒着敌人的炮火
’stand up, stand up. we are together as one, risking our lives towards enemies’ fire’
前进,
冒着敌人的炮火
前进!
前进!
前进!进!!
爱国主义精神永垂不朽!!!
‘forward, towards enemies’ fire, forward, forward, for-for-ward-ward. patriotism will never die!!!!’
uhhhh how come so depressing. must be patriotic and run towards enemies’ fire. how come cannot prosper and all that jazz. what happen to peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!